"You told me to trust you but I’m still coughing up water from the last time you let me drown."
Today I had a teacher tell me that a family member of theirs attempted suicide with pills.
Tell that to my grandma while she had to shower me for a month because I couldn’t stand after my overdose.
Tell that to my younger cousin who didn’t understand why I slept for three days straight.
Tell that to my bestfriend who saw me cry in every moment I was awake for two weeks after I swallowed those little pieces of hell.
Tell that to my brother who watched me vomit up everything I ate because my stomach was on fire.
Tell that to my teachers who watched me fail my exams because I was so dizzy and out of it I couldn’t stand, let alone concentrate.
Tell that to my mum, who watched me violently shake, sweat, convulse and cry in her arms because I didn’t want to be alive.
Go on, tell them it’s attention seeking. I dare you."
"Your name hurts."
"Im the filter on a cig, a safety that youre bold enough to touch. Capable of rolling against your lips. Holding in place. Easy enough to drop. But addictions a funny thing cause you put one out just to light another. And one pack becomes two. So tell me can you feel the nicotine. So tell me can you feel me working back into your veins?"
"1. The smell of your hair after we showered
2. The way you sung in the car
3. How your thumb would idley rub mine
4. How I could roll into your side when I woke up
5. Kisses on the nose
6. Kisses while laughing
7. Your chest against my chest clothed
8. Your chest against my chest naked
9. When you told me you loved me
10. When you told me you didn’t"